To do...one day

One day-

May be I will dance in a competition,

Winning or losing does not complete my vision.

May be I will take that trip to Venice and Florence,

A gondola ride, a walk through those streets, taking in those scenes,

May be I will wear those bright graduating robes with that hat having a tail,

A degree in a foreign university ...a long lost dream waiting to come true,

May be I will gather the guts to get that tattoo on my back,

Cant wait to see my dad - a picture of shock,

May be I will finally shed those extra pounds,

Worthy of that pretty dress that I sigh at on my window shopping rounds,

May be I will get into the swimming pool and feel the thrill,

When I learn to swim up and break the water ...hmmm...how will it feel?

May be I will someday get to buy my first car with my own money,

Even one on the brink of a junkyard will be worth a million or more for me,

May be I will make my son proud of me,

No matter what I do, to love me just as me?

May be I will make him worthy of himself first,

And sit back gracefully when the world thinks he is the best,

May be I wont get to do much of these....

But I hope I never ever hurt anyone who would matter far more than my dreams.

Photo finish..ed!

On the verge of the decadal of our marriage, you could say my expectations of from important romantic events like anniversaries, birthdays and valentines' days are not very dramatic. But this year my husband decided to break the charm and planned a very interesting trip for Valentine's. We planned to go to the much-talked about Hotel de Glace or Quebec's pride - The Ice Hotel. Since Valentine's day was the last day for the winter carnival in Quebec, we decided to cover that too. We also invited a friend and her family into the convoy.

Over the years I have learned to stay away from decisions with respect to the trip plans and concentrate on prayers to show me empty parking lots and the child not asking for too many wash room breaks or anything else that can any way hamper the "perfect" planning of my husband. But no one says I am not allowed to get carried away with little whims once in a while and ask for little pleasures!! Well today was the day for continual requests for pictures of those vast country side grounds filled with beautiful, clean, white and shimmering snow!

After a couple of times, my friend's husband decided that it would be a good idea that I dint keep repeating myself and called for a break. Little did he know that where he was halting was having a lot of fresh snow and the car actually went off the road into the soft snow. When I thought I could get into trouble for asking this, I agreed not to stop and continue the journey. But when he tried to get the car back on the road he realized that the more he would try to get the car out,the more it was going under the snow.

Then I saw what could have easily made into those candid camera moments, where they deliberately create a situation to check out people's attention. About half a dozen cars pulled up all around us, trying to help us move the car onto the road. A family with kids, a lady and her friend, a couple of gentlemen .....Some of them helped with ideas, others tried to push the car, some others shoveled the snow. My friend and I were overwhelmed with the determination with which these strangers offered support. One lady got so exited, she wasn't taking it easy on those cars that wouldn't stop!

After more than half hour of super human effort finally we decided that we might require professional help from a tow truck. Then again one of the guys quickly called in for help! These guys were amazing. After we profusely thanked them, they all went their way. The husbands decided not to give up and kept trying all the engineering and math logic that they could think of. Right then a cop came up to check what was the problem and after being convinced that it was not an accident but a simple picture taking attempt that went "off the road", he called for help.

We, the women decided to keep the good sense to keep out of their way and not give even genuinely bright ideas, lest the axe might find its way to our necks. Though it was getting past lunch time I dint want to mention it but only jumped at the idea as soon as it came from the boys.

Just when we were having lunch, the police officer went away and the tow truck arrived and what happened in the next 15 secs were the most relieving, irritating and expensive road parking that happened. After checking the situation for like under 5 secs, the driver decided what was to be the plan of action. He got a hook out and tugged the car and with like the ring finger of his left hand and an effort equaling that would be required to operate a coffee machine he moved the car out of the 2 feet ditch!! These are times when you truly thank the Lord for the help and kick yourself that your one hour of extreme physical labor could not do what seventy dollors and a little button could!.

I was feeling so grounded that I dint dare take out the camera to do what we stopped for in the first place. But since everyone else suggested, I gathered courage to take a couple of keepsakes so that it will help me remember the "snowed-in tale". If you dint call this a "photo finish" ...wonder what would! ...And so we went out back on our way....

...Hotel de Glace...here we come...

Umbrella Tales

How someone's care and devotion for your parents can make you take a tour of the part of city that you never ventured before is amazing!

I was all excited and ready to fly home for a wedding and hence carried a lot of those shimmering and gaudy looking clothes which in no right mind can you imagine wearing anywhere else. My friend calls and informs me that she has a gift for my parents and that I should take it with me. It was a long triangular looking gift wrap and I couldn't imagine what could be in that shape. When I opened it there was this beautiful wooden umbrella which had Paris depicted all over it, very beautiful. But then the length of the umbrella wouldn't go into any of my cases. I decided to carry it in hand and since my husband was coming to drop me, hand it back to him, if the authorities would stop me from taking it.

Montreal airport was a sail through and I carried it with me as cabin luggage. I made a sound mental note that I should not at any cost let go of it and made sure that I had it with me when I got off the craft at London to change flights. I had two precious pieces of luggage with me and do not mistake me for the gold or any other documentation that was carrying. One was my son and the other was the umbrella.

In London however the airport authorities decided that umbrella wasn't much use in-flight and after profusely promising me that they would take good care of it, slipped it off my hand and dropped it for check-in luggage. Since the feeling of missing something in my hand kept reminding me continually that there has to be an umbrella there, I was able to wait for an extra half hour and reclaim it in-spite of it being the early hours of a Chennai morning and my son deeply in need of some rest. It is not an exaggeration that I was clutching the umbrella in one hand and my son in the other till I reached home.

On the day I had to leave for Hyderabad to visit my parents, my son took it upon himself to remind me several times lest I forgot the umbrella in its last leg of journey!!. At the Hyderabad airport I watched the baggage of the entire craft before the fragile items were brought out and I had to go specially claim it, which took an extra 45 minutes of my life but I was glad that I finally got it to where it was intended to be sent!

This momentary relief lapsed my judgment and to oblige to my son's request of allowing myself to be his pillow during the hour and half journey home, I made the terrible mistake of leaving the umbrella in the boot of the car with the rest of the luggage. By the time I reached home, my son was deep asleep and I was holding him while the driver unloaded my luggage. And then I went upstairs, surprised my mother, all greetings and hellos and huggies and the bags opening for gifts and then.....................! Shock, Anger, Irritation ................on myself...How could I do this???????

I FORGOT THE UMBRELLA !!

Not that I am popular for my memory but this one took "the umbrella"!! Then started the frantic calls to the cab company and lucky for me I went in for some registered and expensive cab and dint haggle my way through some "Diamond car service" . Then I realized that apart from the time that I hired the cab, I pretty much dint know anything else, not the driver's name, nor the number on the cab!! But within a few minutes I got a call back and they had managed to trace the driver and get a confirmation that he did indeed have the umbrella.

With my sis-in-law's suggestion, I started yet another long journey to seek it back. Since the cab company's office was conveniently situated at the outskirts of the city we made a long journey viewing the changed city, appreciating it as well as recounting to myself the "good old days". A typical Hyderabadi can never lead to your destination without a couple of " just idhar se right" and "saamneich hai" ...so...after several wrong turns and calls back....finally I broke the code and found the building. As I entered the office, my story seemed to have preceded me and greeted me with a mixed look of amusement and amazement around there. They probably were peeking from behind their tinted doors to see the great samaritan, who had such concern for a missing umbrella......I mean...who does that kinda thing!!

The whole evening I dint let go of the umbrella till I reached home and handed it into my mother's hand with best compliments from my Montreal friend!! :) .. Mission Accomplished!

After hearing through my story my dear friend even offered to pay for all the anxious journeys I made for getting the umbrella back and apologized for being the cause of it, but I wouldn't hear of that because the adventure was - Priceless!!

Moral of the story....NEVER....EVER.... forget to take the cab driver's name and number....unless you particularly enjoy wild goose chases involving Paris pictured umbrellas !! :)

College Love

This is something that will touch everyone in their teens,
whether sporting a jacket or walking in their jeans,
every girl is waiting for her prince charming,
the rate at which this disease is spreading is alarming,
there are some who feel a sense of pride,
there are some who are simply taken for a ride,
they guys are falling for the girls head over heels,
everybody is poetic is telling the way he or she feels,
the intelligent put it down as a passing phase,
but deep inside , everyone wants to be a part of the race,

At the party,
the girl without a date will feel out of place,
the guy without a girl will want to hide his face,
this is a never ending saga of college love,
people keep falling in and out of it , don't ask me how!!

Walls

Every morning when I get up, I face them.
when I am angry or sad , I hit my fists on them,
they have been with me all the years,
though they are dumb, they are all ears,
they are the mute witnesses of those moments,
of those emotions of joys and laments,
standing mightily around me, they give me a sense of security,
they give the place I live, a picture of grace and sanctity,
they say a house is not made of bricks and walls,
but its among these that every night the family rests,
they stand high and strong like the man's pride,
from one kind to another, a woman walks into as a new bride,
start talking to them and people will call you insane,
never do they complain , decorate them or leave them plain,
a vital part of human existence,
talk about past, present or any tense!

Unhappy India

Then written was the " Unhappy India",
So called due to its subjection,
Subjection to the unpowered divinities,
Unhappy , but atleast alive was our mother,
Hope for freedom was enuf for her to breathe,
Her beliefs on her dreams made her strong,
They said they were one and fighting for her cause,
they said they lived and died for her,
As then, death was less painful and more endearing,
Today I write my Unhappy India,
about the battered India, the shattered India, the stranger India,
Then India was sick, today she is half dead,
Her sons are tearing her to pieces , draping her with blood,
sickening is the look of the people,
Who are directors behind the drama of life,
Mad is the way people fight with their for no cause,
was this the vision of a Mahatma, a Swami, a Nehru?
And all the builders of this nation,
Is this the country that I have read about , felt proud about ?
Should the young of tomorrow inherit this Unhappy India or that?

Freedom

Like a lot of teenagers, naivety was what I could vouch as one of my better known virtues. In other words I thought a lot about myself, felt I was smart , that I had an intelligent and smart way of handling any questions that sprang in front of me etc.

I remember when I was graduating, the farewell party had several rounds of intellectually challenging and socially stimulating tasks to choose the most popular students of the year. As far as I was concerned we all knew more or less who would get the crown but the juniors who organized the event gave us one other chance to prove that we were not anywhere in the run. So, for the final round question was "How do u define Women's lib or freedom for women " something with that tone. My answer for which I kick myself even today - I am a model of a free woman or an embarrassing equivalent. And then I spent the rest of my life figuring out that I was not as free as I had thought myself to be.

People around me have managed to convince me that they care for me so much that they would hate to see me in trouble and so have decided to make me answerable for everything I do lest I do it wrong. It has comfortably grown into my psyche that I make mistakes and these people can watch out for me and see that I don't. And to do justice to them I have had my share of proofs by belonging to the minority of the humans race who does not get a four wheeler drivers license on the first test, loosing my purse full of important documents, smashing the rear end of the car inside the garage and the list can go on. And as more and more people hinted me that I was not as good as I thought I was and that they had to be around to help me handle everything, it was easy to convince myself too.

One fine day my husband bought a bicycle which he decided was for me. My fear started the moment he said I was to try it while he was at office. My dilemma was whether it was better that I try it while he was there and prove it to him yet again that I cant remember an exercise which has been scientifically proven that humans once learned, cannot forget? or fall in front of strangers and embarrass myself? For a while I tried near the door, holding the wall and was not sure I could balance myself....

No marks for guessing it right. Yes...!! I took the latter option. Got up from the couch, got dressed with a sense of purpose, walked the bicycle to the car park, waited for a handy man to get into his car, while posing as though I was checking the air in the tires. Then took a deep breath and off I went, I wobbled , made three false starts and then I was go....go...gone...Took a round inside the block...Then my old fear came back and I thought may be I cant do it another time, got off the bicycle and started again....and I was so comfortable and felt so free...the feeling of being able to do anything, go anywhere. It was awesome...

The thought that crossed my mind was if someone asked me what was freedom then, I was sure I could answer it better this time around!