Moderate Indians

Indians by themselves have mixed opinions about being Indian. It never fails to surprise me how we have an opinion on just about everything under the sun. We have varied differences of opinions too depending which state, region, caste or community we belong to. The moment we find someone from the same background as ours in any one way we gang up. We make our dormant opinions strong and unite to form a front.

But when we find ourselves away from our comfort area, we are first ones to docilely accept the situation. Even better than that is we call ourselves moderate. One of our famous lines - "We are not the type to get into all that, yaar. Those guys are different."

Every time I hear this great line it sets me thinking. All those fanatics back home who make big issues about valentines being celebrated, Christianity being propagated, Muslims aiming to become a majority or even those irksome people who want to wipe out migrants from other states from "their city " as they call it. We take in all this. Each one of us know that this is wrong. We never raise our voice against it. We suddenly convert to being Gandhian or "moderate" and to "bear" with these people "who actually know not what they are doing and deserve God's forgiveness.

I am wondering are we hiding our incapability to face truth behind a beautiful term called moderate. Pick any one of those yelling rioters and put them in a place without their multitude support or even geographically different say Times square in New york. And you can very well choose one of their "fearless and agressive " leaders for this experiment. Are their ideologies strong enough that they can convince people anywhere or as per their convenience turn moderate and accept things calmly the moment they are out of their scene? I think we know the answers.

When I was in India, I used to wonder why people do not like to come back after a few years abroad. After coming here I realise it is not really so much because of the facilities or shopping or conditions etc, atleast for the past couple of decades atleast. I find that we have competitive facilities in India too. So why do people like to do this? Because we learn to accept- different people, different religions, ideologies, et al and stop pushing at every small thing. 

My mother is so orthodox back home. We used to mockingly call them "pooja special" days. The ingredients used in the cooking will be newly bought. The utensils would have been those that are specially kept for these purposes. But when she came here, she was ok with adjusting our lifestyle. Sometimes I had to rush to my son's school or get some urgent errand done. I would ask her if she would want to accompany. I would tell her I dint have time to wait for her bath , but while I am getting ready she can change and eat something. She wouldnt mind. I wondered. I remember, years back we used to have big fights on the fact that most of the days she lands up with a very very late breakfast, which would effect her health. But she wouldnt budge."I cant eat without giving prashad to God" she would glower at me. She even got ready to wear salwar-kameez when she came here. She enjoyed eating out , going on trips or even bowling. We had such a good time. My Dad even performed in front of my friends. I was so shocked and happy. Makes me wonder if they could take back being their moderate selves home. 

Why do we learn to take things easy here? Why do we take things easy on ourselves here?  I think it is this easiness, this acceptance, this freedom to do things that way we want and not blindly follow what been expected of us , is what makes people reluctant to go back.

If it is so good to be moderate, why do we have to hide from it where it matters. When we become a huge family here where people come across communities and back home we barely manage to be civil with our own relations and family. If we can bear with things here, why not be moderate there too. I do not know what Mr Kennedy gave to America, but he surely gave this wonderful line to the world. Ask what you did for your country. But we can always replace that with family and community. We follow that and I am sure we are already learning to tread on our path of moderation.